On Circus: By Michael Harris

Michael Harris's newly released collection of poems titled 'Circus' is a roller-coaster ride of circus misfits, sombre stories, delightfully crafted sonnets and real-life testimonials. 


Troupe opens the 'Circus' collection and starts us imagining all the assorted misfits in Harris's circus. We are not disappointed.

From The Bearded Lady to The Dog Trainer, Hang in There to The Ringmaster, Michael weaves tales of extraordinary individuals in sensitive moments of everyday life.

He then moves to poems of actuality with Derelict and Concentrate, where we are faced with our own pasts, frailties and the inevitability of our own deaths.


Making this collection truly delightful and well-rounded, Dr. Suess comes to mind with Hoodiddit and Closet Sonnet. The rhymes are reminiscent of my childhood, having spent many a night reading 'One Fish, Two Fish...' and other tales of trickery.


The book ends with what's real in Speech and The Examiner, bringing us back to the test that is life. Whether we have less teeth or not, we must take a big bite, a big jump and, as Harris writes, start now.


I found 'Circus' a thoroughly enjoyable read. The different voices, timbres and points of view are engaging and eye-opening (and for the chihuahua Oliver, leg-lifting) in their honesty, maturity and genuine understanding of what makes--and doesn't make--human nature tick.


Circus by Michael Harris is published by Signal Editions, an imprint of Vehicule Press.

Sonny Rollins: Jazz Fest 2010 in Montreal

We saw Sonny Rollins last night at the Montreal Jazz Fest and, even in his eightieth year, his ability to make his saxophone an extension of his soul has not diminished.

The experience was spiritual is nature and his music moved through the audience making us tap our feet, clap our hands, hoot and yell out 'I love you, Sonny!' to which he replied, 'Sonny loves you too baby!'

That's what the whole night was about: Love. Love and the excellence that is borne from it.

We came away feeling elated, hopeful, free and deeply inspired. The soon-to-be 80-year-old saxophonist became a giant once his lips touched the reed of his instrument. He helped us realize the power behind the arts. The power of experience and time and practice.

Thank you Sonny and your band for what can only be described as a colossal and pivotal jazz experience!

YES - Always remember what you're searching for

I was at an inspirational and informative conference for artists of all varieties yesterday, set at the Centaur Theatre in Old Montreal--a beautiful venue!

It was the YES conference in Montreal, Quebec.

I came away from the day-long event with the profound and unshakeable feeling that art is life and life is art.

The lessons that the panelists wanted all of us artists to remember and apply to our professional lives, could just as easily be applied to all facets of our personal lives as well:

• Always remember what you're searching for, don't just give people what they want.
• There's always a market for what you do. Never forget this!
• Do it yourself. DIY.
• Talent isn't enough, you also need drive.
  
• Remember to have fun!

Great advice for any life endeavour professional or otherwise.

Peace and love to you all,

Jacqueline

Being according to Janice

Janice wrote me a short letter that I thought was eloquent in its simplicity and wisdom.

She gave me the permission to share it here with you.

Dear Jacqueline at The way is love,

I think you will understand where I am coming from.

I have come to the point in my life where I have realized that I no longer have to be what my parents think I am or expect me to be. I have come to realize that my family, friends and lover should accept me for who I am because of who I am. I am not perfect, nor do I ascribe to be, but I am genuine and honest and real and gentle.

I know that my potential goes far beyond what my mother's imagined or hoped for me. I know my choice of profession causes my father to ask himself, what's she thinking. I say, if that is the case, well, so be it.

I have struggled with accepting the fact that I have always intimidated my mother, mystified my father and been ignored by my extended family. I no longer believe I am the product of anyone else's mind or expectations. I have chosen another route that is, and will be, purely my own.

I think I have finally come of age, come into my own and taken ownership for where I'm going and who I'm going there with and it feels good, and a little frightening. But then isn't anything that is worthwhile? I say yes.

I wanted to share this with you because I think you've been here, in your own way, and I acknowledge that and honour the journey: The journey that is each our own.

Yours truly,

Janice

Thank you very much, Janice.

And I wish you luck and courage on your journey of life.

Peace and love,

Jacqueline

There's nothing you cannot do

I looked at my horoscope today and realized that it was strangely prophetic and good advice considering what I've been thinking about recently.

It said, "Keep telling yourself that there is nothing you cannot do in this life and you will go a long way in a short space of time. What would you choose to do if there were no restrictions? Do it right now."

Restrictions...what are they exactly? Are they financial, personal, physical, emotional?

I heard recently in the news about a 92-year-old woman who won at the Senior Olympics, and she didn't start training until she was 77! Does she believe in restrictions? I really don't think so.

I realize that everyone's life situation is different and people have their own issues, situations and realities that they have to accept and deal with. I have had my own share of them too and I know that life can throw you a curve ball when you least expect it and sometimes when you're at your most vulnerable. Life is filled with happiness, sorrow, hard work, heart ache, joy, fun, love, anger, frustrations and choices.

But believing that you cannot do something will definitely stop you from doing it. I think restrictions are all in our heads. The only constant in life is change, so what was true yesterday may not be true today. The only true moment we have is now. I find this idea very liberating because if we live our Now moments with purpose the rest will follow. Even my horoscope says, "Do it right now." And the questions is, when else can I do it?

So, if I can do it right now then what I believed before doesn't matter anymore, only what I believe now matters.

I think I will believe and live as if I can do everything that I want to do. How quickly will things change? How quickly will I start to see results? I'll let you know.

But I do think it's all about belief. I'm sure Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa and Marie Curie, among many others, would say that change begins in our brains and hearts, and then the behaviours follow.

So changing what I believe now will change my soon-to-be future as well. What I believe will move through my life like a gentle lapping wave that will grow larger and more powerful as my belief grows with it. That belief momentum will push me forward and wonderful, amazing things will happen in a very short time.

There is nothing I cannot do. I believe it for me, and I believe it for us all.

Stop the tapes in your head- It's good for your soul

Have you ever felt stuck?

I know I have.

Stuck in a rut, in old patterns, hearing old tapes playing in your head. The tapes in my head are my mother's voice, my aunt's voice, sometimes my father's voice, the voice of an old boss that told me I'd never amount to anything because I didn't have enough guts. You know, those kinds of voices. Haven't we all got some of those tapes playing in our heads? Yes, I believe we all do.

It's human to listen to these people, after all we are impressionable and at different times in our lives different people influence us more or less.

My old boss was chastising me at 19. Instead of choosing to encourage me, he put me down and his words have lingered. Even at the time, I didn't believe him. I knew he was venting on me and that felt very familiar. I'd been vented on most of my childhood. Sometimes I still hear those tapes playing in my head and they feel familiar, but wrong.

The tapes are wrong. Just as my old boss was. I have amounted to something, not nothing. I am who I am today. And that is very significant. And I also have a lot of courage. The courage to stop listening and believing the negative tapes from people who probably didn't mean the harsh and damaging things they said.

There comes a time in all our lives when we know we can choose. For different people it happens at different ages. And whether you are 16, 42 or 70, it doesn't matter. Some event, some discussion, some happening wakes you up and shows you who you truly are. For some people the event is cataclysmic, for others it is subtle. However it happens it's imperative that we listen, that we pay attention and that we choose not to listen to those old tapes in our head anymore.

I suppose some people might call it self-actualization, being true to oneself, listening to your inner voice: It doesn't matter what you call it, it only matters that you do it. I don't want my old boss affecting my life anymore or any of the other voices that I've heard through the years.

If I am not successful in my career, as a mother, as a friend, as a soul mate, it is because of my own choices and not anyone else's words. And certainly not because I listened to the old, negative voices in my head! Some people may try to blame those voices, but that is only fear.

It isn't easy to stop the tapes from playing. They are familiar and the voices are often people we have cared about or care about still. It requires hard work, time, a sincere and genuine effort to know yourself well, but the benefits are so large that they cannot even be expressed in words.

Flies and honey: Trees and forests

There's an old saying, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

If only most people, and our society, understood and acted on the wisdom of this idiom. If they did, imagine how different our everyday lives would be.

For example, imagine if, when we received back our tests at school, that our teachers emphasized how many answers we got correct rather than the ones we didn't:

"Good for you, you got seven right out of ten. Good job! You understand the questions on the most part and have a good grasp of the subject matter."

But instead, what do we usually hear?

"Seven out of ten is not bad, but why did you get those three wrong? I know you can do better. Sit down and correct those questions now so you don't make the same mistakes in the future."

I am not opposed to correcting the three that I got wrong, but when the teacher focuses mostly on those three then I feel as if they haven't even really seen the seven I got right.

And what about the news we read every day in the newspaper and see every night on the TV? We are presented with fake-looking people who smile and announce one disaster after another after another. It never seems to phase them that they are telling us about earthquakes, genocides, missing persons, accidental deaths. I am sure if we calculated the amount of negative information versus the amount of positive information they give us, it would be a ratio of 9:1.

I believe that it is important to stay informed about what is going on in the world and close to home, but I know there are a lot of very positive events happening as well it's just that no one is broadcasting them in the newspaper or on national TV.

Why not?

I think that the majority of people in our society prefer to focus on other people's sorrows and hardships because it makes them feel less upset about their own lives. They talk about Haiti or Israel, bullying or drug trafficking and they feel as if their lives are okay. The fact that their marriage isn't what they would like it to be or that their job isn't challenging enough or that they don't really have any ambitions anymore just doesn't seem as interesting or important as all that's happening outside of themselves.

While it is true that knowing what other people are experiencing can put your own life in perspective, it is also important not to lose site of the forest for the trees. What does that mean?

For example, if your husband is often late, doesn't really listen to you when you talk, spends a lot of time on his own hobbies and doesn't know what your hobbies are, these are what I would call the trees. These trees put together become a forest that means that your husband has lost touch with who you are and has let his relationship with you lapse. You may treat him the same way and that may be why it started in the first place, but a lot of people complain about "the little things" that are simply trees in the forest of their lives.

Society does the same things by focusing on all the events that occur that are upsetting or unhealthy or dramatic and these things keep us from seeing the big picture, whatever that may be for a given situation or topic. The big picture, however, is what it's all about and is what keeps us focused and moving forward in our lives.

The seven right answers are the forest and the three wrong answers are the trees: Focus on the seven and know why the three happened and your life will be on track. That doesn't mean it'll always be positive, you could have gotten seven wrong and three right, but paying attention to the why is what changes our lives and keeps us honest with ourselves, and others.

Priorities fall into place

I was at a funeral yesterday.

It was the fifth funeral that I have been to and the third one that was tragic. There is often a very palpable feeling of surrealism at a funeral. The environment is very artificial, and people don't necessarily act like themselves.

In churches, funerals are more hopeful--if it's possible to say that. In funeral homes they are just creepy. Churches are often open and beautiful. There is ritual which I don't always understand, incense sometimes, chanting, but there is a feeling of community and solidity that lessens the tragedy of it all. Funeral homes are plain and boring in their decoration and the air is stale, there is little or no light and its the utilitarian aspect of them that gives me the creeps.

Yesterday it was in a church. Standing and feeling the collective pain and sorrow of the family members and friends all around me I could feel all the deaths that came before. I was transported back to the very first when I was around twelve, the first time I'd ever seen a dead body, and it was my great-grandmother, a woman I'd written letters to since I was five. A woman that played 'Snakes and Ladders' with me, made puzzles with me, walked with me and taught me that life was about hard work and sacrifice and love.

I thought of Paul who couldn't handle the faces in the mirror or the voices in his head, my uncle who left behind three teenagers and my neighbour's father who'd lived a long life.

As I stood there listening to the priest sing and chant, I felt the mother's pain standing in front of me. There are no guarantees in life, but outliving a child is a cruel twist of fate. I couldn't help but put myself in her place, how would I feel if that was my child lying lifeless before me? I think I'd crumble, insane with grief and overwhelming loss. But she stood before us all and cried and moaned and accepted the condolences from all her family and friends. The human spirit is a miraculous thing.

And we went to the meal after and talked quietly with people and then collected our children and came home. But nothing seemed quite as serious as it was before. No, we didn't have any groceries to make dinner but we'd figure something out. Yes, two of our kids are home sick with a cold but they'll just make up the work. And the work at the office that didn't get done just wasn't as important anymore.

And I realized life is all about perspective. Death puts you right back to survival, whether it is physical, emotional or spiritual. The deceased's problems, victories, loves, career, friends and life are over, for them. They are at peace. But we are left to pick up the pieces of what the death means to us, whatever that might be.

And that's, I think, what funerals are for. They are reminders that life is here today and sometimes gone tomorrow. That people exist not only in our lives but in our minds and hearts as well. A good thing to remember when the everyday routines of life become overwhelming and weigh upon our shoulders.

An so, today, I am going to hug my son more, take my dog for a walk in the park, cuddle up with my love tonight and remember all the lives lost.

Falling into the story

Growing up wasn't easy for Peter. Being the oldest son he was expected to protect his siblings, help around the house and be the man of the house when his father was away, which was most of the time. From a very young age he learned to be impervious to pain, fatigue and fear--or at least that's how he portrayed himself. Weakness was simply not tolerated.

Despite the fact that he was given these great responsibilities, they came at a high price. He was disciplined very harshly for the smallest mistake, such as breaking a dish, and still carries the physical, and of course mental, scars of that kind of discipline.

Peter learned to give people what they wanted at whatever personal cost that exacted from his body, mind and spirit. But what are the residual effects of this kind of harsh, exacting upbringing?

Peter is a very hard-working man almost to a fault. He still sacrifices his own well-being to 'look after things' and 'help others.' He is an honourable man and because of his self-sacrificing nature and training, a lot of people have tried to use him for their own ends.

It is not an easy path to go from the ever-sacrificing son to the balanced man.

Peter has realized that he cannot allow people to use him any longer. Maybe it used to make him feel valuable, useful and even loved, but he has realized that he is not being valued, is being used and is certainly not loved in any healthy way.

Peter has decided to break out of the story. The story of his life that he learned as a child and adolescent. The story that trained him that other people are more important than him. The story that trained him that the only way he'll truly be loved is by putting everyone else first. The false story that he learned over and over again in different ways through his family. The false story that he perpetuated on into his adult life with choices that continued that familiar pattern.

The story is not who he is: The story is what others want him to be.

He is ending the story to become the balanced man he deserves and wants to be.

Bravo, Peter!

Peter will create miraculous things when he listens wholeheartedly to what his soul is telling him about himself. I have no doubt that he will create his own future and because it will be his, it will be exactly what he wants and needs it to be at any given time.

With peace and love,

Jacqueline

Changes in perception

It is incredible how our brains can see things so differently depending on our mood.

I am missing someone. They are away on vacation and I feel as if a piece of me is gone. Rationally, I know their absence is only temporary, but my whole mindset changed nonetheless.

I felt a bit lost, alone, vulnerable and negative. The glass became half empty, which is not like me at all. I realized that only my perception of my life had changed, but that my life really hadn't. Except the fact, of course, that I am away from someone I love deeply.

I think the way that I feel is a part of my psyche, a part of my soul that is difficult to express and understand. It is almost as if I am in suspension, waiting and feeling slightly disconnected from the Now while I wait. I can still function, I work, laugh, love, cry--everything, but I am waiting for their return.

I feel as if my life is not completely in the Now without them.

I think that as human beings we grow very accustomed to the people we love. We weave our lives around them and become involved in their lives as they become involved in our lives. That is why setting one less place at the table or not making them a lunch or not kissing them before bed is so strange and leaves an empty place in my heart.

This is the fifth year that I have felt this way. It is never the same, but it always settles over me until their return.

I am honoured and grateful to love so much and to feel such loss when they are away. Love is many, many things and sometimes it doesn't feel too good. That is life and I will feel whole again upon their return.

Peace and love to you all,

Jacqueline