Knowing who we are and what makes us do the things we do, gives us enormous insight into our lives.
As we have seen with Joyce, behaviour is everything. Our words are empty if our behaviour doesn't follow them.
This is not only true for how our behaviour affects our spouses, friends, family members and children, but most of all how it affects ourselves.
As we grow up, we are not encouraged to learn about who we are as individuals. We are taught to conform, fit it, not stand out, be who our parents, friends and family members want us to be. Some people feel very comfortable being who other people want them or expect them to be, at least when they are younger.
And what about those kids that just don't fit in or conform for one reason or another. Maybe they look different than other people or act different, maybe their parents don't accept them because they find them strange or disappointing somehow. How do those kids feel in a society that honours conformity above all else?
When we grow up, are no longer living with our parents and have to look after ourselves, we have to make our own decisions, choose our friends, jobs and loved ones based on our own feelings, needs and wants. But how do we do that if we don't know who we are as individuals?
That is often our biggest challenge when we start our own adult lives. We are filled with a sense of dread and confusion as to what our life path should be. We know we can conform and do whatever is expected of us, but what if that doesn't feel right? What if inside we feel a sense of stress and loss when we conform to other people's ideas of us?
And what if we choose not to conform and instead be whoever we truly are as individuals? What if, when we do that, we are shunned and ostracized by our family members and friends?
Becoming ourselves and being who we truly are can be the biggest challenge in our lives.
I grew up not being accepted by either of my extended families. One side highlighted how different I looked from everyone else in the family; their subtle way of saying I didn't fit in. The other side of the family pretty much ignored me.
I learned from a very young age that I didn't fit in. I still don't, I am just too different in so many ways. I accept that, now. It wasn't always easy but I don't consider being myself, and being labelled different, a negative thing.
I am myself and I have learned that people who don't accept me for who I am are uncomfortable with themselves.
Trying to fit in and be someone other than who you truly are is damaging to your self and to your soul. How can you fulfill what you were meant to do in your lifetime if you are constantly living a life other people have set out for you? No one can know you as well as you know yourself.
As Joyce has found out, she must decide on her own priorities and live her life according to them. She must know herself, to be herself and not only her children benefit from her knowing, she benefits as well. She will work hard to live her life according to her own values and she will never regret because she's consciously deciding who she wants to be.
We all have a responsibility to know ourselves. No one else can know you better than you know yourself, some people may say they can and do, but those are only words.
It is a lifelong journey learning about ourselves, staying true to ourselves and living according to our inner selves. I hope you all feel as much satisfaction from doing it as Joyce and I do.
I wish you all a wonderful day!
Until next time,
Peace and love,
Jacqueline
