Diane wrote to me about how stressed she felt after returning from her vacation in Costa Rica. Her stomach became tight and all her responsibilities loaded back onto her shoulders her first morning back. She could even feel her blood pressure rising as she thought about all the things she had to do, look after and be concerned with.
Diane found the difference between her sense of peace and well-being on vacation and her sense of urgency and pressure at home staggering and it concerned her greatly. Diane would like to know why she felt so different while she was away and how she can incorporate that sense of peace and well-being into her every day life. Diane isn't sure that she can, but she'd really like to try.
Diane's feelings of peace and well-being are not related to where she is, despite the fact that it appears that way, but are related to her state of mind in each place. When Diane was away on vacation she relaxed, swam, sunned herself on the beach and walked through the rain forest. She said she spent a lot of her time in the rain forest walking, listening and being still. She said the air smelled wonderful, the breeze was soothing and the sound of the birds and other wildlife made her feel far away from everything. In other words, her experience of nature in Costa Rica helped her create the peace and sense of well-being she felt while she was away. However, that sense of peace did not come from outside of her, but from inside.
Diane said that as soon as she walked into the airport to return home she found the amount of people and noise overwhelming. But the urgency and pressure didn't set in until she woke up the next morning.
It was easier for Diane to feel relaxed in a natural setting, such as the rain forest in Costa Rica, but, with some effort and practice, she could feel relaxed at home as well. Being out in nature helps us relax more easily because it allows us to slip into the present moment. As we walk through the trees we feel the ground beneath our feet, hear the birds singing, see the squirrels racing around and feel the breeze move over us as it moves through the trees. It is far easier in a natural setting to not concentrate on the bills we need to pay or the work we need to do, but as soon as we walk back out of the trees that peaceful feeling starts to wane and we start thinking again.
We think about the laundry, the kids, the car that needs an oil change, our Mother that is sick or the argument we had with our brother and then we are no longer in the present moment anymore.
Our minds can create all sorts of scenarios, repeat conversations and talk with us about real and imagined events all the time. I think of this as 'Noise.' It isn't real and yet it can be just as loud as any TV or CD you might have on.
Learning to stop that continuous Noise inside your head is the beginning of feeling at peace in your every day life. Spending as much time with nature is also a good way to stay in the moment. Learning to quiet that Noise is a process that takes time and effort to learn, but it can help Diane feel the way she did in Costa Rica in her flat in Montreal.
Meditating and creative visualization can help you practice staying in the moment. One of the goals of these techniques is to stop us from thinking. A sense of peace and well-being has nothing to do with where we are physically, but where we are emotionally within ourselves. It is just a lot easier to feel relaxed and present in the forest than on the metro, but it is equally as possible in both places.
