Children and fulfillment

Nancy wrote to me and said she has missed out on a fulfilling life because she does not have a child. Nancy said that she hasn't met a man that she wanted to have a child with and now feels very lonely and somewhat depressed about it. Even though Nancy is only 40, she thinks that she is too old to have a child now.

Being a parent is a very rewarding experience and also a huge responsibility. Becoming a parent is not a decision to be taken lightly. I think if Nancy hasn't felt right about having a child with the men she has met so far that she has made the right decision in not doing so.

The concern I have is that Nancy seems to feel that the only way her life will be fulfilled is if she has a child. She thinks she won't ever have a child now so her life, consequently, will never be fulfilled.

Nancy needs to accept the fact that she may never have a child and realize that her life can be extremely fulfilling without having children. There are many ways Nancy can make a contribution to a child's life without that child necessarily being her own. She could even adopt a child if she felt able to do that financially and emotionally. It may not be exactly what she had imagined her life would be, but it is important to be flexible because there are always alternatives if you keep your mind open to them.

I hope that Nancy learns to accept that she may not have a child. If she accepts that then she can start coming up with alternatives that will make her life fulfilling. Nancy has so many options that she may not yet realize. I don't want her to only focus on what she feels she doesn't have.

Why?

Focusing her energy only on what she feels she'll never have is a sure way for her to become depressed and negative.

Nancy thinks she will never have any children and won't ever be happy so she may end up rejecting people and situations that arise in her life that could give her exactly what she wants. Nancy could actually end up rejecting what she really wants simply because she thinks she will never have it.

This may sound strange, but people actually do this to themselves a lot. People can end up undermining themselves and not realize it because they are limiting what they believe. That is why it is so important to keep your mind open and to be flexible, rather than rigid.

The only sure thing in life is change. Nothing ever remains the same.

This is a very inspiring and liberating truth because it means that there are always alternatives if you are open and willing to see them.




Thank you all for being here at The way is love today. If you have any comments or questions feel free to contact me.

Peace and love.